Unspoken Expectations Are Silent Relationship Killers

Last night, my youngest daughter told me she was “kind of upset” with me.

When I asked why, she said,

“Because I hurt my finger… and you didn’t notice.”

So I asked, “Did I know you hurt your finger?”
She said, “No.”

Turns out she pinched her finger in the car while I was driving.
She never mentioned it, but quietly waited for someone to notice.
And when no one did — she felt unseen.

So, naturally, me being me… I turned it into a conversation. We talked about unspoken expectations — how unfair it is to hold someone responsible for what they don’t know.

I asked her,

“If I got upset with you for not washing the dishes… but I never actually asked you to — would it be fair for me to get mad?”

She said, “No.”
Exactly.

It became a deeper lesson about life, leadership, and communication.

Because we do this all the time:
We expect our partner to just know what we need.
We assume our team should read between the lines.
We resent the silence — without realizing we created it.

Unspoken expectations always end in disappointment.
They break trust — not because people don’t care, but because they never knew.

So the next time you feel unseen, ask yourself:

• Did I clearly express what I needed?

• Or am I silently hoping someone will just notice?

Because clarity is love.
And love — in parenting, in leadership, in life — begins with communication.