I Teach This. And Then Someone Asked Me the Question.

I learned something important this week.

Some very interesting doors and opportunities were brought to our attention. The kind that make you pause and ask questions you hadn't expected to be asking yet.

And here's the thing: the questions being asked were questions I personally teach, coach, and train my business clients on.

What do you truly want? What does the business look like at the end? What would it look like to exit?

I was not quite ready to answer them for myself.

The Cobbler's Shoes

We're still a young business. I consider us a baby business. And I had told myself those questions would come later, when we were bigger, further along, more established.

I didn't expect to need that clarity this soon.

But what was more interesting than the questions themselves was what came up in the process of trying to answer them. Because when you sit with questions like that long enough, they stop being about business strategy. They start being about values.

And that's where it got real.

What Jen Coded. What I Coded.

In the process of working through all of this, Jen, my business partner, coded her core value as autonomy.

I coded lifestyle.

Those two words, sitting next to each other, said everything.

I know what it's like to work 40 to 80 hours a week with no days off. Always on. For family, for business, usually for both at the same time. I've lived in that place. I've done that version of work.

And I have no desire to go back to it.

The hustle culture that gets promoted everywhere, the work more, do more, be more, grind until it works narrative, that's not what I built MotivAction around. I built it around energy. Around lifestyle. Around the way I actually want to live.

That's controversial. I know it is. A lot of people won't agree. And I'm okay with that.

What That Actually Looks Like

I built a schedule where I don't have to rush in the morning.

I send my kids to school. I go to the gym. I have a slow breakfast. And then I do the work.

I can work from anywhere in the world, and I have. The business was designed to support that, not the other way around.

Yes, we have strong work days. Focused, high-output days where a lot gets done. But we also have a solid recovery plan built into the rhythm. That's not laziness. That's sustainability.

I built a life first. And then I built a business that fits inside it.

I'm writing this from a pool chair. Watching my kids splash around. Nowhere to be. No calls. No urgency.

This is what I'm not willing to give up.

And no number has shown up yet that would change that.

The Question I Couldn't Answer

Here's where it got interesting.

The specific question on the table was this: If you were to sell the business right now and stay on as full-time CEO, running the company, being on all the time, putting in those 40-plus hours, what would that number be? What salary would it take? What would make that trade worth it to you?

I sat with it. I turned it over. I tried to find a number.

I couldn't.

And that surprised me. I thought there would be a number. There usually is. But when I actually looked for it, it wasn't there.

I couldn't put a dollar sign on the freedom of the lifestyle I've built.

But Here's What I Could Answer

I couldn't tell you what I want. Not clearly. Not yet.

But I could tell you exactly what I don't want.

I clearly don't want to work long hours with no built-in recovery.

I clearly don't want to be on all the time, always available, always reachable.

I clearly don't want to give up my mornings. My ability to be present with my kids. The freedom to travel. The slow start to the day that keeps me sane and effective.

I know all of that with complete certainty.

And here's what I've realized: knowing what you don't want is the first step to figuring out what you do want.

It's not the whole answer. But it's the beginning of one. It narrows the frame. It gives you edges to work within. And when you start building a vision from that place, instead of starting from a blank page, you already know what you're protecting.

That's not nothing. That's actually a lot.

This Isn't Just a Business Question

And this is the part I want to sit with for a moment.

Because this isn't only about business owners with exit strategies and acquisition conversations.

This is a question for everyone.

What do you actually want in your life? Not in your career. Not in your business. In your life.

Most of us are so busy moving forward that we never stop to ask whether we're moving in the direction we actually want to go. We optimize for the next milestone without checking if the destination still makes sense.

And then an unexpected question lands in front of us, and we realize we don't have an answer. Not because we're not smart enough. But because we never made the time to figure it out.

So here's what I'd offer, whether you're a business owner or not:

Start with what you don't want. That list is usually easier to build. And it will point you, slowly but clearly, toward what you do.

What This Has to Do With All of Us

I teach my clients to know their values before a major decision forces the question.

This week, a major conversation forced it for me.

I didn't have the full answer. But I found something more useful than an answer. I found a direction.

And sometimes that's exactly where clarity begins.

Know what you don't want. Protect it like it matters.

Because it does.

At The Academy of MotivAction®, we work with business owners to develop the clarity, leadership, and self-awareness to make decisions that align with who they are and what they want to build. Not just in the business. In their lives.